My First Million
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People who are generally emotionally healthy and avoid conflict are actually worse at handling it when it does occur, because they lack practice and developed skills
The Reasoning
Like any skill, conflict resolution requires practice. People who rarely encounter conflict don't develop the emotional regulation, communication techniques, and repair mechanisms that frequent conflict navigators learn
What Needs to Be True
- Conflict resolution involves learnable skills
- Practice is required for skill development
- Emotionally stable people avoid conflict more
- Avoidance prevents skill development
Counterargument
Emotionally healthy people might be better at preventing conflicts altogether, which is more valuable than being good at resolving them
What Would Change This View
Evidence that conflict-avoidant people can rapidly develop conflict skills when needed, or that conflict avoidance itself is a superior strategy
Implications for Builders
Deliberately practice difficult conversations
Don't assume your general emotional health translates to conflict skills
Create safe spaces to develop conflict resolution abilities
Recognize this as a specific skill gap to address
Example Application
“A generally calm CEO realizes they're terrible at board conflicts because they've avoided them for years. They specifically study negotiation, practice repair attempts, and build conflict resolution skills separate from their general leadership abilities”