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De-escalate conflicts before they become damaging fights

Anyone in recurring conflict situations - couples, business partners, team members

Immediate use during conflicts, builds skills over months

What Success Looks Like

Arguments stay productive and don't damage relationships. Both parties feel heard and respected even during disagreements

Steps to Execute

1

Recognize when escalation is happening

2

Use humor appropriately to break tension

3

Take a break when emotions are too high

4

Say 'I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, what I mean is...'

5

Acknowledge the other person's point before making your own

6

Use 'whoop' or similar reset mechanism to start over

Checklist

Did I assume positive intent?
Am I trying to be right or trying to solve the problem?
Can I restate their position in a way they'd agree with?
Is my goal to win or to understand?
Would a break help both of us think more clearly?

Inputs Needed

  • Emotional self-awareness
  • Commitment to the relationship over being right
  • Pre-agreed reset mechanisms
  • Practice identifying early warning signs

Outputs

  • Preserved relationship trust
  • Faster conflict resolution
  • Better problem-solving
  • Reduced emotional damage

Example

“You realize you're in a 'yes but' pattern where you agree then immediately contradict. Stop and say 'Actually, let me try that again. I hear that you're concerned about X, and that makes total sense. Can we figure out how to address that together?'”