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My First Million

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Shift vs Support Response Pattern

Two types of conversational responses: shift responses redirect attention to yourself, while support responses help the other person elaborate and feel heard.

Decision Rule

Use support responses to build connection and make others feel interesting. Use shift responses sparingly and only after thoroughly exploring their topic.

How It Works

Support responses create psychological safety and encourage deeper sharing. Shift responses, while natural, can make people feel unheard and less important.

Failure Modes

Overusing shift responses makes you seem self-centered and uninterested

Pure support responses might make you seem passive or boring

Fake curiosity is transparent and backfires

Example Decision

When someone says 'I'm training for a marathon,' shift response: 'I ran a 5K once.' Support response: 'What got you into long-distance running?'